Christmas Circa mid 1970s, early ‘80s
I don't know how many Moms write to you, but I just found this marker in my son's pants as I was throwing them in to the washer. Please forgive the fact that it is written on the back of the note (found in the pocket of number 2 child’s pants) that was supposed to be given to his teacher last week.
So far the kids haven’t missed me, as I am sorting through the never ending pile of dirty clothes on the basement floor. But I know it is only a matter of time before one of them discovers my absence.
If you can arrange it, I would love to make a trip to the bathroom without little fists pounding on the door, chubby little fingers poking under it, or little eyes trying to peek under saying “Mom! I know you are in there!”
If possible, I would like to take a shower without wondering if someone is setting the house of fire, another has the clippers and is shaving the dog, or the other one has scaled the cabinets to sit on top of the refrigerator.
I would like to make one meal that everyone would eat without complaining (besides chicken nuggets and French fries).
I would really like to brush my teeth and comb my hair all without someone tossing toys into the toilet or chasing after a toddler who is running with the end of the toilet paper still attached to the spindle.
I would like to sleep all night sometime without having to toss a child next to me who has had a bad dream or is scared of some perceived notion, such as Bigfoot coming through her window. And if it isn't too much to ask, I would like to wake on my own without someone lifting my eyelids and saying "Mom, are you awake yet?”
I would like a recording of "Stop teasing your brother!” “No, you can't have grape juice in the living room!” “Yes, you have to at least try it!” “Are you sure you don't have to go potty?” “Why didn't you tell Mommy that you had to go potty!” because sometimes my vocal chords get tired.
I would like a pair of legs that can sprint across the yard fast enough to save my toddler from running into the street, preferably not in purple. I have those already.
I would also like a pair of arms that don't flap like a flag in the wind, but are still strong enough to carry a screaming child from the toy section of the store. I also would really appreciate a waist, as mine disappeared several years ago about my third month of pregnancy with child number one.
I don’t know if this is in your realm or not, but could you please arrange to have them tell me, just once at least, before 10 o’clock at night, that they need to take something for the bake sale at school tomorrow.
And, if it isn't too much to ask, could I sometime answer the phone without everyone instantly having a life-and-death crisis, such as “He hit me!” or “I'm thirsty” or “I can't find my blanket!”
Could you please arrange for one of my children to do something when asked without saying “Why do I always have to do everything?!”
I know my list is rather long, Santa, and I don't expect everything...oh, no, I have to go...there is water running dripping from the basement ceiling...
It's me again. Remember that letter I sent you years ago? Please disregard it as I would totally give up all my ‘freedoms’ and 'extra time’ and ‘clean house’ for just one more year of children who believe.
Thank you. Mom