Simply Julie


Herald-Leader Guest Columnist

So did anyone watch the swearing-in (interesting to use the word ‘swearing’ in relation to the whole Brett Kavanaugh debacle?)  I am guessing there was a lot of swearing done, especially when the microphones were turned off.

 So, I have to preface this by saying that I like old people.  I even love some old people.  I, in fact, am an old person.  But how the heck old is Ruth Bader Ginsburg?  Did you see Justice Kavanaugh's swearing-in ceremony?   I really expected someone to check to see if she had a pulse.  And she was wearing mittens, I think (I know from wearing mittens at my grandson's football game last week that clapping with mittens on doesn't work very well).   I bet that was why she didn't applaud. I think the old guy seated next to Ruthie was Justice Breyer.  I don't know if it was due to his age or lack of enthusiasm for the new justice, but his slow-motion applause was akin to the lone clap of a naysayer in an empty auditorium.

  And in other earth-shattering news, I hope you didn't miss the clips of Kanye West's visit to the White House (West wing...get it?!)  His lengthy rant should go down in history as one of the dumbest things ever seen in the oval office, and that is indeed saying a lot (if only those walls could talk).  

As if someone needed to add another buffoon to the mix.   And, I confess, I voted for him. Not Kanye, I think he's a real looney tune (that is the politically correct term, I think, for crazy which you probably can't say, either).  

So I will just say that maybe Kanye is "reality challenged"   or maybe "intellectually impaired." Rather, I voted against Hillary, but that is another whole column.  

In the almost two years since the presidential election, I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I have wondered, why, with all the millions of brilliant, articulate, educated, honest, wise people of integrity  in our great country, we ended up with the two that we did for candidates.

  And speaking of candidates, if you have had your tv on, you will have heard from the opponents of the people running for any  mid-term office  that they are only interested in their own salary,  they lie,  they welcome criminals,  they will increase your taxes, they are corrupt,  and don't even like puppies and kittens and rainbows (maybe I made that last part up).  

The money spent on these negative ads along with the amount spent on the glossy mailers stuffing my mailbox every day could probably feed a lot of poor people, rather "economically marginalized" or unemployed, I mean, "economically inactive" or "unintentionally at leisure" for a long time.

  And with the references in the news lately to "Pochahontas," again by the leader of the free world,  I flashed back to my ideal childhood where we ran around the neighborhood playing cowboys and native Americans (unlike the president, I am trying to be politically correct).  Anyone else remember the good old days?  We also played "Cops and Wealth Distributors."  It was a much simpler era in which we had never heard of "gender reassignment"  or "LGBTQ."  We just knew that girls hated boys and boys hated girls.  Simple as that.

  And I apologize to anyone offended, but I did laugh out loud when I heard the commander in chief call Stormy Daniels a "horse face."  That sounds like something Nellie Olson would have said to Laura Ingalls on "Little House on the Prairie."  

But Laura wouldn't have responded, as each week Ma and Pa's wisdom of "goodness" and "justice" always prevailed, and was neatly wrapped up in just an hour.  Do I sound cynical?

    Well, in case you missed any of it,  that is the "News in a Nutshell,"  sorry, "News in a Reality Challenged Shell."

  Oh, I almost forgot.  I sent in my ‘DAN’ for testing.  I found out that I am dyslexic.  I am also 1/332  part Native American.  I am guessing  I had  a lot of relatives who smoked "peace pipes."   I think Cherokee.  And I think that Cher is also my cousin.  I should give her a call...